The time is upon us, here is a link with info on the event, get crazy in the race, or if you are not up to it, get crazier at the after party…. there is a cool video as well, see you there!

photo stolen from allhailtheblackmarket.com

This is one of those things that briefly crosses your mind whenever you’re at a bar on your bike. A man in Florida was charged with a DWI after police stopped him for riding his bike Saturday night without any lights. His eyes were bloodshot and he had a couple empties in his front basket, so the police tried to give him a breathalyzer. He refused the test, and was charged with a DWI, refusing a breathalyzer, and an open container. He was arrested and is being held on a $9000 bond. Biking while drunk might not be a fantastic idea, but at least you’re only endangering your own life. It’s not like you’re going to run over a van full of orphans. The lesson here is to just consent to a breathalyzer. It’s tough to imagine that a judge would crush you for riding your bike while drunk once you make it to court. And even if you do get crushed by the judge, at least your car insurance won’t go up and you’ll know you’re on the right side, morally.

Someone get this kid a PBR.

A 7-year-old Briton with media-savvy parents managed to raise over $240,000 for Haiti. They kid came up with an idea to squeeze his relatives for about $1,000 in donations by getting them to sponsor a 7-lap ride around a park by his home. He began taking pledges from family and friends of family, and his media-minded mom threw up this website. A few incoming links later and he was up to the $200,000. The good news is that he successfully rode out the five miles, so he won’t have to give all that cash back to the donors.

Ask this guy to help you move.

A Massachusetts company was hired by the city to haul recyclables from residents’ homes. They’ll also deliver firewood or get your groceries to your home. I’m thinking about getting them to drag my coffin to the cemetery when I die; I can just imagine how bad drivers would feel about honking at the funeral procession. The Pedal People might sound like a novelty, but since 2002, they’ve moved 341,000 cubic feet of trash. They can haul up to 300lb per load. One unforeseen advantage might be that residents seek to create less waste knowing that someone will be carrying all their refuse away on a bike.

Where stolen bikes go.

This is likely the only scenario where I can justify stealing a bike. A Massachusetts man was arrested and booked for being drunk late on Monday, and police discharged him at 1:30am in 23F weather even though he had nowhere to go. At the urging of some folks in the Police Department’s lobby, the man took a bike leftover from Christmas Toys for Tots donation and rode away. A police officer saw the man snag the bike and arrested him and put him back in jail. Since the guy faced freezing or going back in jail, it’s not like he’s out too much. At least he didn’t shoot someone to get tossed back in the lockup, and in his defense, the bike was supposed to be given away for free anyway. I suppose you could argue that it was supposed to go to a needy orphan, but a drunk with a bike is safer for the rest of humanity than an orphan with one.

The infamous Road Rage Dr. Christopher T. Thompson was handed a 5 year jail sentence for his crimes against the two-wheeled world. All it took were three cyclists testifying about the doctor trying to him them in reference to five separate incidents. Mostly, Dr. T is famous for passing cyclists at high speed and then slamming on his brakes the moment he got in front of them. He netted a handful of casualties this way. On one hand we can be happy that a small amount of justice is being metered out for a psychotic driver with an obvious history of violence against bikers, and on the other we can still be pissed that it took this much to get so little. Hopefully he shares a jail cell with a few bikers.

Proving once again that cyclists are superhuman, a man in China stopped two men on a moped from stealing a woman’s purse. Two guys riding tandem on a moped? Of course a biker’s going to kick their asses when it comes down to it. I love watching the guy calmly climb off his bike and then throw it at the duo as they drive past. He wins this week’s badass award.